Dogs & Divorce
A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. We were both stressed out and sleep deprived, and a misunderstanding had us at each other’s throats. As I shouted, “do it yourself!” at him, something stopped me in my tracks..Stranger was watching. He seemed alert and nervous. I immediately calmed down, comforted him, and decided it would be nice to cool the temper with a nice game of fetch.
The experience got me thinking though. Animals are so intuitive to our emotions, routines, and anxieties; what happens when these emotions are dark, the routines are interrupted by crisis, or our anxieties are running on high? What happens when couples start fighting all the time or divorce. What if our new boss is a tyrant, and we come home angry?
Dog therapists agree that dogs are both incredibly in-tune to our moods and creatures of habit, and change (especially negative change) can invite all kinds of anxious & destructive behaviors like howling or house soiling. They recommend being deeply considerate to your dog’s insecurities. Help him reestablish a sense of safety and routine. Try not to expose him to fights. But don’t lock him away either as dogs interpret this as punishment. Another great piece of advice I came across said that in the event of a divorce, keep the children and the dog together, as they will comfort each other.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Our dog does not like conflict of any kind. He leaves the room if that occurs, whether it’s siblings arguing or whatever. If is funny that when my wife and I come home from work (we work and commute together), Doogie always checks to make sure we’re BOTH home and fine before he heads for the door to go outside.
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I totally agree with this post. Dogs are incredibly tuned into our moods and will effect their behavior. Cesar Milan stresses “calm submissive energy” While I don’t agree with all of his methods, I do agree with this 100%. As pack leaders of our homes, we set the tone through our actions and words.
Its a good practice to take a deep breath and count to 3 before firing off those hate filled firey words, you never know who’s listening
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 am
big dave, i think its amazing how much our dogs take care of us.
like right now, strangers trying to help me finish these potato chips : P
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Our dog daisy can sense tension. No one has to say a word. She heads for my daughters bedroom at the first sign of conflict.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Yeah, I notice if I yell at one pet, all the others get either excited or stressed. Also, if I’m upset and do something loud, the animals totally pick up on that. I’m sure they pick up on a lot more less obvious behavior of mine, too. When there’s tension with my boyfriend and I, my dog tries to lighten the mood by saying, Hey! Pay attention to me! He puts his head in our laps or does something naughty. I know it affects him.